(photo courtesy of YlvaS and Flickr)

It’s inevitable that our parents will grow older, the roles will reverse and the time will come when taking care of your parent (s) becomes a reality. Make these times as happy for your parents as you can. With rising health costs, more and more families are chipping in to either be their parent’s caregiver in their parent’s home or the parents get moved into the home of their adult child. Let’s take a look at moving your parent (s) into your home.

Some food for thought on how best to integrate your mom and dad into your home.

• The very first thing to do is give mom or dad their own space. Bring all of their favorite furniture and make room for their memories which, soon enough, will become your memories.
• Realize that leaving their home can be a sad time for them so reassure them constantly about how happy you are to have them living with you.
• Cook their favorite recipes. Actually, if you do not already have the favorite family recipes, now is the time to begin creating recipe cards.
• Act like a child again and let them tell you what to do, whether it is in the kitchen, driving in the car, working around the home or whatever. Let them share their wisdom with you and don’t do anything but listen patiently.
• Sit and watch their favorite TV shows with them.
• Find outside interests and get mom and dad involved with others their age who have similar interests. Keep them active.
• Set up appointments with the local doctors and dentist. Get mom and dad acquainted with the doctor before the possibility of anything major crops up. Let mom and dad establish their own rapport and trust level with the doctor.
• If mom and dad have to be left alone when you go to work or just out on errands, make sure they have a way to contact you. If there is any concern they could fall or be of any danger to themselves, install an emergency alert system in your home and make sure they wear either the alert necklace or bracelet all of the time.
• Sit down as a family and have mom and dad and yourself fill out all medical directives otherwise known as a living will. Fill yours out at the same time as a living will should be prepared before it is needed. By sharing in this task, it doesn’t signal out that you are concerned they are going to die soon, but rather that this is a responsible project that all mature adults need to keep updated.
• Make yourself available for weekly outings such as to the market or to Target just to have time to putz with mom and dad.
• After living together for a month or two, have a family meeting and ask if there is anything mom or dad needs that could be changed to make their new life as stress free as possible. Let them know you value their opinion and the home now belongs to them as well. Their could be some tense moments but it is always better to get it on the table and find a good middle ground that works for everybody.

The time caring for my mother and father were some of the best times I have had as an adult. I just giggled when I was driving and dad told me every turn I was to make. And mom loved to go to Target and have that special shopping time that most women love.

Mom and Dad passed a little over three years ago. I have most of mom’s recipes. I have stories in my mind of their childhood which will stay with me until I pass to the other side and see them both again. Let your time with mom and dad be a time of joy and sharing. Unconditional love is meant to be exactly that, unconditional.

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